Some nights I stay up too late
and my mind wanders quite a bit.
So if you get a text at around four in the morning
that asks why you love me,
it’s not because I think you don’t,
or that I need your attention-
I just forget that I can be loved.
I stay up late sometimes
and do things that I probably shouldn’t do
and write things that don’t make sense
but forget it all in the morning.
And some nights I stay up way too late
until I know that I can’t stop crying,
and my chest hurts from missing you
even though I saw you yesterday.
I would call you
and scream at you
and I’m sorry if you see me this way.
It’s just sometimes I stay up too much
and scold myself in the morning,
because I get a bit tired
and a bit angry
when you stay calm.
Even then I might curse at you
and keep you up too late, but sometimes you don’t notice that
when you were awake I can’t seem to fall asleep.